Nishmas Day 13 | Rabbi Gavriel Friedman
Thank You, Hashem, for Not Answering Me
A transformative shift in mindset that changes everything. "כל דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד"— everything Hashem does is good. It’s easy to understand that everything He does is good when it feels good. But what about the experiences that leave us shattered, reeling from the pain? There was a young woman who was married for a few years and was still childless. She pursued every medical avenue — countless appointments, treatments, specialists, yet no doctor could pinpoint the issue. In her desperation, she traveled to see Rav Sholom Arush, begging him to help her. "You must keep davening," he told her. But she wanted something more tangible — a segulah, a promise, something concrete to grasp onto, and she wouldn’t leave without it. Finally, the Rav leaned forward and shared something unexpected. "There is one thing you can do. Every day, go into a quiet room, and for one hour, thank Hashem — for not giving you children. The woman was taken aback by Rav Arush’s suggestion. Thank Hashem for her deepest pain? It seemed impossible. Yet with complete trust in the tzadik’s words, she began this unusual practice. The first days were unbearable — each "thank you" was a bitter reminder of the tremendous void in her life. But slowly, something within her began to shift. The sadness that was drowning her began to give way to a newfound clarity. "This challenge is making me into a better person. I would never have chosen this path — but Hashem knows that this is where I need to be”. We naturally wonder about the story’s ending — did she have a baby? But in truth, she had already experienced a part of her yeshua. When we reach that point of genuine gratitude, where our burden isn’t breaking us, it’s building us, the entire nature of our challenge shifts — a yeshua in and of itself.